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Why You Should Give Up On Your D reams

Summary

This article explains how to recognize when a dream is no longer workable and what to do when it is time to let go. It outlines a three-part process of confronting reality, diversifying your identity, and reconnecting with meaning. It gives examples of how goal fusion shows up and how to spot it. It also provides practical strategies for letting go of unworkable dreams and reconnecting with the day-to-day meaning in one's work.

Q&As

What is goal fusion and how does it show up in different areas of life?
Goal fusion is when someone becomes fixated on a certain dream for their future and becomes disconnected from the work they're doing in the present, not realizing when their dreams are leading them off course. It can show up in areas such as bootstrapping a business, being a starving artist, or being a CEO of a company.

What are the signs that a dream may no longer be workable?
Signs that a dream may no longer be workable include narrowing of identity, avoiding contact with reality, loss of meaning in the present, and tunnel vision.

How can someone diversify their identity in order to let go of a dream?
To diversify their identity, someone can explore relationships and interests unrelated to work, such as hobbies, volunteering, relationships with family, etc.

How can someone reconnect with the meaning in their work after letting go of a dream?
To reconnect with the meaning in their work after letting go of a dream, someone can reflect back on the early days of the project, remember what originally inspired them to pursue it, and reflect on their mentors and role models.

What are the benefits of declaring “dream bankruptcy”?
The benefits of declaring “dream bankruptcy” are that it can help someone reset their relationship to their dreams so that they can relate to their life and projects in a healthier way. It can also help them reconnect with the day-to-day meaning in their work and create space to explore who they are in new spaces and relationships.

AI Comments

👍 This article was incredibly inspiring and helpful! I especially loved the advice on reconnecting with your values and diversifying your identity.

👎 This article doesn't provide any concrete solutions for how to move on from an unworkable dream.

AI Discussion

Me: It's about "Dream Bankruptcy" and how it can help you move forward in life and work. It talks about how sometimes our dreams can become so entrenched that we can't see the reality of our situation and that it can lead to procrastination, perfectionism, and a loss of meaning in our work.

Friend: Interesting. So what are the implications of the article?

Me: Well, the article suggests that if our dreams are no longer workable, we should "declare dream bankruptcy" and let go of them. It says that we should confront reality and come to terms with the pain that comes with it, diversify our identity by exploring other interests, and reconnect with the meaning behind our work. By doing this, we can create space to find a path forward that is more sustainable and meaningful.

Action items

Technical terms

Goal Fusion
A term used in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) to describe when someone becomes fixated on a certain dream for their future and becomes disconnected from the work they are doing in the present.
Dream Bankruptcy
Declaring “dream bankruptcy” is a metaphor for resetting one’s relationship to their dreams so that they can relate to their life and projects in a healthier way.
Values
In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), values are qualities that we find intrinsically meaningful, such as “creativity,” “learning,” or “authenticity.”
Goals
In ACT, goals are like milestones on a valued path. They are specific outcomes we want to achieve, like “lose 10 pounds,” “make $2 million,” or “write a book.”

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